Open Letter to Vidya Balan
A popular campaign glorifying women denying marriage on pretext of inadequate sanitation at grooms place has been widely acclaimed. The far reaching effect can be widely observed with an upcoming trend of brides denying marriage on pretext of non availability of utilities. The Social accolades of such an act is seen with tremendous appreciation & women assumed to be living in denial enjoy the new found glory of tremendous media attention .
Consider a Similar Situation if a groom denies marrying a bride in absence of adequate utilities at matrimonial household. An extremely adverse reaction would incriminate. Man would be doomed as cruel & insensitive for his act of denial. Now people might argue that this is a male dominated society, however the protestation is in such a male dominated society male do not even afford right to denial. where a diva is assumed to be bold for her act of denial , in this so called male dominated society male is assumed to be an epitome of cruelty for the same act.
The Campaign funded by UN for imparting & promoting sanitation has been able to build a bad blood, The denial for marriage on pretext of sanitation , however senseless may be is glorified.
Coming to ground realities , the government passed a food security bill a couple of years back stating 70% of the indian population donot have food to eat. Now if 70% of the population donot have food to eat can it be assumed that they have resources to build a utility for themselves.
What about the homeless people , India abodes the homeland of highest no of homeless people across world. Do the people have right to marriage ??? All this campaign is preaching is 70% of such indian population should not think of marriage .
The larger question is if this act of denial is replicated than would it not be apt that all boys should deny any alliance where the girl does not match his social status & economic profile .Any grooms family should not look for a bride with a higher income or social status .
The positive outlook to the subject could have been sensitize a bride to assume responsibility in building a utility by joint contribution. The protagonist could have shown her resilience by acting responsibly rather than taking a shortcut , which would have been far more appreciable .
Their would not be derth of people who would still blame the groom for his inabilities , some would call it callous while some would blame it on his lethargy. People do not realize the groom who could not build a sanitation has women in his family prior to marriage , be it his mother or sister. The discomfort is existent much before the alliance was proposed. The fact is no one enjoys his or her family members to defecate in open leave alone himself . Thus any inability of establishing a utility is an out come of extreme poverty & not out of choice.
Men would still be blamed for assumed reasons and would not be spared for their inability, whatsoever may be their circumstances. After all this being a male dominated society all strings of responsibilities are tied with men alone. Any inability to do so will be demonized.
Men are only appreciate if they are successful provider & protector if not they are flushed out like a trash. The above incident is just another saga of marriage getting flushed. Thanks to all those who glorify the act & demean human values. we will continue to see this deterioration till we reach the base. Its just the beginning of Marriage Flushed.